Wednesday, 31 July 2013

God Confidence vs. Self confidence

Self confidence:
The Oxford dictionary describes self confidence as a feeling 
of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement.

I grew up pursuing self confidence. There are the lucky few who believe they were born with it - I'm not one of them. I look back and realise that all I ever did was to gather evidence trying to build my self confident. I figured that if I did my job well, if I was a good friend, if I made the right decision etc all these will eventually build up to my ability to trust myself. I spent hours listening to people who had confidence to see how I could learn from them and build my own. I read books like the 7 habits of highly effective teens, listened to a lot of talk shows and got familiar with lots of quotes on self belief. These are some of the quotes I got from just  googling "self- confidence".

  • "Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment" Thomas Carlyle
  • "One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self confidence is preparation" Arthur Ashe
  • "A great figure or physique is nice, but it's self-confidence that makes someone really sexy." Vivica Fox
  • The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experience behind you" William Jennings Bryan
According to a study done by MarketData Enterprises the Self-Help industry was worth US$10Billion in 2009, with a projected growth of 5.5% year on year from 2010 to 2014.* It's good to know that I am not the only one who is eluded by self confidence!

My problem was that no matter how much I was gathering it felt like there was always someone out there in the world who did it better. In high school I studied very hard but my friends got the A's. I spent hours studying and trying to grasp concepts but my friend who spent a couple of hours on her books got the honours/colours when I got a "certificate of diligence". When I tried to make myself beautiful there was always someone who looked better, dressed better, and was more attractive then I was. I was asked to improve my confidence through attending speaking courses. However, in the make believe environment of these courses, I was told there was nothing wrong with my technique (I have a video to prove it!). When I started working I was told I was okay but if I improve a lot of things I would be better. Working on my weaknesses was called my development plan. So the evidence I was gathering was not adding to my confidence, it was reducing the little I had! I had the same feeling a person feels when good things happen to bad people - you know when the guy who lacks integrity gets promoted, the lazy girl gets the best marks and the girl perceived as promiscuous gets married.



I am a Christian, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour and cemented the decision with my baptism on the 14 April 2013. I had since been introduced to a more liberating view of trusting God and not myself. When I look at the awesome character of God it's so easy to see why I can trust him. Some people may say that's coming from the Bible and because they don't believe that the bible is God-breathed 2 Timothy 3:16 they cannot trust it to be true. I suggest you listen to Voddie Bauchan  he did a brilliant talk entitled "Why I chose to believe the bible" -   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZNXMJGYNG8.

I have learnt the following about God:
He is Good Psalm 136:1
God is Love John 3:16
God is our father Mathew 6:9
He is omnipresent
He is omnipotent
He is omniscient
He is Elohim - The strong one
El-roi - the strong one who sees Genesis 16:13
Jehovah-jireh - He is our provider Genesis 22:13-14
Jehovah-rapha- He is our healer Exodus 15:26
Jehovah-ra'ah - He is our Shepard Psalm 23:1
Jehovah-shalom - He is our peace Judges 6:24
Jehovah-tsidkenu - He is righteous Jeremiah 23:6
Jehovah-shammah - He is present Ezekiel 48:35
Immanuel - God is with us. He came as Jesus Christ to save us from our Sins.

Trusting God in all things is something I am striving towards. I don't always do it. I do know that when I do take over, most often have to run back to God asking him to fix my mess. The times when I do completely trust in him, he has never failed me. Ways I have seen this in my life this far:

  • My move to Dubai was God's response to me asking him for a job. God took me to a place where I was away from familiarity of home. I had no choice but to come to the truth that without him I am nothing John 15:5. I had to rely on him in finding a place, rely on him in finding a church, rely on him in making friends and for everything else in between. God made a work colleague have compassion towards me and he spent a day driving me around searching for a place during his personal time. In his wisdom, he made me see a lots of disgusting apartments so that when I found my place I was greatly appreciative. He has continued to bless my stay in Dubai and for that I am grateful. 
  • During my prayer time I listen to the voice of God: The first time it happened, I sent a message to a friend I had not spoken to since I left South Africa. The message was just encouraging her and hoping that she is well. She wrote back telling me how much that message meant to her. She later told me that the message I sent, spoke to the exact problem that she had been grappling with. Yes, I also had goosebumps! Having attended a course on gifts of the Holy Spirit and the experience with my friend, I was encouraged to seek God more. I listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. So now my family and friends get emails or sms on what scripture/advice popped up when I praying for them. 
  • Work has been an interesting experience for me. I have had some brilliant leaders who have inspired and encouraged me to be better. I have also had to submit to leaders whose leadership style I didn't enjoy. From some leaders, I heard more about needing to fixing a long list of issues and less about my positive progress. I praise God that when I look back at each leader I have had I can honestly thank them for contributing to my career. I have learnt so much and sent them each a personal email just showing my gratitude. I moved from an environment which was slow to flatter to one where I am being flattered often. I now see why God put me in an environment that was slow to flatter first! When people say how great you are -  in-front of others and constantly - it can easily get to your head. You could gather "Self Confidence" and think you really are great! What I do now is bring all the glory back to God. I am brilliant because God opened the door for me to be trained by the best marketing brains in the world. God put all these leaders in my world and it's amazing how much I have learnt from them. All I'm doing is communicating what I have been taught. I am trusting God for inspiration at work. I feel comfortable trusting God's creativity because he created the world Genesis 1:1-31! His creativity is everywhere! It's in the beauty displayed in a sunset, the breath-taking beaches or the diversity in people and languages. God is a master of creativity! 
  • I give advice: I pray and try to ground my advice on the truth of the scripture. Sometime it's not what the person I am advising would like to hear but may need to hear. Sometimes it's advice that is sweet to the ear. What I do know is that it's coming from a place of love. Jesus is love. He gave his word so that we may live a life of abundance! I love Jesus. I love what he did for me and those who believe in Him. I am full of gratitude and praise. I thus love His people. I want more and more people to know him and to love him. So when I give you advise it's because I want you to obey the will of God and for you to have an abundant life in Christ! 




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