I was lost but now I am found

This is my experience of being almost reformed by religion to being transformed by Jesus Christ. Please note this is my story. There are people who have had a different experiences in the Catholic church. This is my account, my story of God's grace over my life. 

I grew up in a God-fearing home. My grandma was a Methodist and she glorified God. We prayed together, read the bible together and went to church together. My grandma would insist we sit with her and not at the children's section during the church service. To this day I don't understand why the African churches don't encourage families to sit together if they want to. When my grandma passed on, my mother took over the role. My mom preferred the Catholic church. We went with her to church every Sunday. And every Sunday I left church not knowing anything about Jesus. My church was in the township of Madadeni, we would have priests who could not speak isiZulu proficiently preaching the word of God in isiZulu. I remember a priest would stand in front of the congregation and he would sound like a child as he stumbled through his sermon. As the priest's isiZulu improved, he would change and another priest would start his journey of learning isiZulu using us as his guinea pigs. So I never got fed. I remember I would take my offering money and try get change from the offering bowel so that I could buy chips and isiqeda (see image below) for the walk home. The only time I was fed was when my mom would make us pray in the evenings. I feel that my church was so unmoved by the presence of God that they changed the tithe from 10% to 2%. Their reason was because that was the only thing people could afford. The percentage is irrelevant. To this day it saddens me that we think a God who created all things is not able to provide for his people.  The message should have been give generously. Let the spirit of God guide you to how much you should give to the church. Give because God has already given you the greatest gift of all - his only begotten Son. 

Isiqeda: It's tasty and comes in different flavours

When I got to university I found another Catholic Church. It was a church in Cape Town and there the priest spoke English. I could understand and follow his message! Felt moved by his preaching at times but always went back to my ways. It was the same pattern; moved on Sunday and go back to my ways again during the week. In Catholicism you have a number of classes that you have to attend and I had done most besides confirmation. I wanted to get confirmed in a Catholic Church. I was in a Methodist boarding school so I chose to postpone it. I started attending confirmation classes. I really enjoyed the fellowship with others. We debated, wrestled with scripture and I enjoyed the community formed with the group. I really felt like I was making the right decision by getting confirmed. My boyfriend came to visit me the weekend of my confirmation. He was 7th day Adventist so he didn't understand what confirmation meant to me. I allowed him to talk me out of getting confirmed. I went to the priest and told him I was not ready to get confirmed. I don't remember what he said but the gist of the message was even though I was unsure I could still proceed. He also mentioned that my name was already on the program and the bishop was coming all this way for me. I told him I was sorry for the inconvenience but I couldn't. I forgot to tell my friends that I wasn't getting confirmed anymore and they attended the service and never saw me. It's still something we laugh about with them! The story is not all sadness and gloom, I did get confirmed the following year. 

I knew about people being born again - I saw the bazalwane (saved people) in my township and church in Cape Town. I did not like both. I felt the bazalwane were too much - added God into every sentence, amen into every word, were judgmental and some were in pursuit of wealth. To me, they weren't people but beings that were living in their own world. Then I went to a couple of services at another church - the praise & worship and preaching were phenomenal. Maybe it was the space I was in but I didn't like people jayving (dancing like people in a club) in church. I realise now that it was because of the space I was in (coming from a Catholic Church) but for me if you want to dance kwasa kwasa do it at a concert or club not in church.  

In my first year of working I moved to Grace Family Church in Durban. There I got introduced to the concept of being born again.  I attended the Alpha course and I learnt about salvation. How because of the sin there was a huge gap between God and man. How God cannot stand the sight of sin. How God chose his only begotten son - sinless and precious - to be my sin offering. How by Jesus dying on the cross the gap between God and man was bridged. I learnt about the Holy Spirit. How he lives inside of me. At Grace I learnt that as a new creature in Christ I was no longer under the law. Jesus Christ has DONE it all for me. Jesus paid the price in FULL and redeemed me. I am bought at a high price. I don't need to DO anything to get into God's grace. I learnt that I can have an personal relationship with God because Jesus has made me righteous! 

"If you believe in grace, then let it change you. 
Don't use it as an excuse to stay the way you are." Joyce Meyers

I moved to Dubai and found another spirit-led church in City Lights. The leaders of my church are looking for God's guidance in all they do. I go to church expectant. I hear people's testimonies and I'm encouraged to pursue God even more. My relationship with him has grown to something so personal. I attend an Open Lounge (cell group) the environment is conducive for people to feel safe in sharing their struggles, their triumphs and everything else in between. I went on a course about the gifts of the Holy Spirit at church and this is the message I sent to my mom afterwards: "Yesterday I practiced the gift of prophesy. It was part of the course I am doing in Church - gifts of the Holy Spirit. Ma it was so powerful to be in a room and feel the presence of God the way I felt it yesterday. I prophesied over people. And they prophesied over me. It was a testimony in itself. I had a difficult time believing in prophesy - I sometimes feel that people can lie and there is nothing worse than getting people's hopes up when they won't materialized. Yesterday these ladies were telling me about my journey with Christ, His faithfulness and how he wants to move me to the next level. Things I had been praying about, longing for and waiting patiently to hear from God. They knew my prayers without me saying a thing. I cried and believed all at once. I am still emotional as I write this to you. Unbelievable! "

This was my mother's response: He wants us to go to that place called "THERE" - HIS throne of grace, where there is goodness & mercy; no condemnation; fullness of joy & peace; HIS presence forever with us; where we become manifested sons & daughters of God; where people see Christ in us! 

I pray that you will give your life to Jesus Christ and go THERE!

God bless. 

(images courtesy of google images)