Hillsong Conference Day 1

I went to the Hillsong Conference for the first time in 2014. When I saw the title 'No Other Name' and watched the poem (put link) I knew I had to go. Natasha and I got the wheels rolling and then Ronel (who should be organising things for a living) decided to join us and she practically organised the details. She's really good! Alex and I helped with the swing votes on the organised itinerary!
I have had this burden since coming back from the conference. The burden I carry is that I cannot go to something so life changing and come back the same. I cannot be the same Nolitha Sithole who didn't have all this knowledge. This burden overwhelmed me when after a whole day of praising & worshipping Jesus, I switched on Facebook and my friends were not praising and worshipping Jesus. They were exactly where I left them before the conference. I pray that the Holy Spirit can help me to resist the temptation to go back to who I was. I pray that I may grow even more in love with Jesus and the people he loves so much.
I will be doing highlights from my week at Hillsong. I don't want to compress all that I've learnt into one post so I'll give you day by day update. I learnt that Hillsong is intentional about influencing culture. They don't want to be the best in Christian music, no, they want to be the best music producers. They want to be influential in music, a massive undertaking but worthy of being applauded! They were awarded for this with Oceans (where feet may fail) receiving accolades beyond Christian music. They pursue excellence in creativity, I honestly didn't expect to be entertained like I was at a concert but I was. The opening ceremony was spectacular! All the executional elements that make brilliant concerts were there and it just worked. On stage we had talented people showcasing their God given talent through singing, dancing, playing instruments and presenting. People were honoured. People were celebrated. Speakers listened to each other and spoke about what they personally learnt from the other speakers. The men and women who spoke were different in style and tonality, but they all brought the glory back to Jesus! 
So I knew it was going to be a great week when the opening verse was my favourite verse about Jesus from Paul:
Colossians 1:15-20 ESV
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
I thanked Jesus right there and then for making this moment possible.
Pastor Brian, the founder of Hillsong church, invited various local pastors to speak every evening. They would share the word before the guest speaker. The first pastor spoke about the baptism of Jesus. He said it was one of those beautiful moments where the triune God head is present. God the Father speaking; Jesus in flesh and the Holy Spirit being represented by the dove. He shared Luke 3:22 when Father God said this about Jesus 'You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.' God affirmed Jesus before he started his ministry. He was announcing to the world 'I love you and I'm proud of you' - words every child longs to hear. Notice that God was well pleased with Jesus before Jesus did anything! He then brought it to identity saying "when you don't know the love of the Father then you compete". He said you have one opponent and that's the adversary. He ended with words that stuck to me throughout the conference, "You will be hearing brilliant talks over the week, don't be so caught up in the talk that you miss Jesus".
The guest speaker was Pastor Steven Furtik of Elevation Church. This young man is anointed. His sermon was from 2 Corinthians 3:12 ESV "Since we have such a hope, we are very bold,". His talk was titled - the problem with Pintrest. He says the problem with Pintrest is that we get caught up in a life of comparison. I guess that's social media in general. He says we must stop consuming other people's perfection. He taught me about Pintrest fail which is all the failed attempts at replicating something learnt from Pintrest. There are some hilarious disasters! He spoke about getting vulnerable with others. Tweet worthy line - Don't just show your progress only, show your scars for people to grow. He says he marvels at God - how God can know me so well yet still love me so much? He spoke about the importance of being known. He said it's important to remove the veils that we put on and be fully known - warts and all. Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! 
Some key take outs:
1. Stop hiding! Unveil yourself
2. Stop having comparisons with other people's perfection. Compare less and contemplate more
3. God heals us from glory to glory not from shame to glory. Share your shame, bring it to the open and let God replace that with his glory!
My testimony:
When I was young something happened to me that changed the way I viewed life. I have always been a works person, you know, work to get people's affection. After this incident it was intensified, I would bring a school report so I could hear my parents' words of praise. I thought the results determined how much love I could get from them. In hindsight so silly but sometimes I catch myself doing it with loved ones even today. Sometimes, my reason for doing good is not a generous heart but a validation in waiting. People are the worst place to get validation. They are so busy walking through their own issues they don't know you need them. My sins, compiled with my need for validation and my negative self perception left me with an appearance of confidence. I was so worried I would be caught out. People will know me and they won't like me. For a person who relied on people for affirmation it would have been the worst thing to happen.
God pursued me. He brought me to a place where I had no one to rely on but him. The more I told him I needed him. The closer he came. God made me cry a lot when he was removing my veil. He showed me my obsession with comparisons. In high school, I had the brightest friends ever. Nthakoana is a genius. She would read over her work and know it. She didn't study but read through her notes and understood. She got 100% for mathematics - enough said. Sisi excelled in accounting. My worst subject. She tried explaining it to me but I didn't have the clarity that she had. So I did what most South African do with mathematics and science. Do enough papers and crammed my way to passing. I got exposed in Matric trials. I got 30% in my accounting exam. I nearly died. My teacher refused to allow me to drop to standard grade. I did get B for my finals so there is a good story to tell! An answer to my prayers of just a pass Lord! That's one side of the story the one my negative side focused on - not measuring up to my bright friends. God in his infinite wisdom gave me the best parents. Every year I showed my report to my parents and they would want everyone in the family to know how well I was doing at school! They would celebrate my report. My babomkhulu was a doctor, when black doctors were not meant to exist, inspite of the high obstacles the government put on them he persevered and became a much loved doctor in Soweto. He saw my matric final results and said I should have applied to be a doctor because my results were excellent. I did well. But I was left feeling sad because I never got my academic colours. I missed the celebrations. And sadly this is one example of many.
Jesus started cleaning me. He exposed things. There was a lot that I had to ask forgiveness for and people I had to forgive. I started my journey of being known. My healing required me telling my story so I told Starla, my pastor's wife. Then the Holy Spirit prompted me to unveil myself to my parents. I wanted to do it face to face so I bought time. I was hoping that I could convince God to change his mind. I remember praying that if I tell my parents know who I am and they don't like me anymore God has to be there to catch me. I spoke to my parents. God gave me the most amazing parents. My relationship with my father was strengthened from me unveiling myself. I had a privilege of praying with him recently for a problem he was dealing with for over 5 years. God answered and the problem was resolved according to my father's desire. My mom (in English she's called stepmom) and I are praying for God to do the impossible in our family. Our human efforts have failed and God specializes in the impossible!  We are trusting him for big miracles. My mom and I are becoming better friends, we are more open and more involved in each others life.
I thank Jesus for the cross. On that cross Jesus took all my sins away - past, present and future. He took my shame and replaced it with glory. Being fully known, shame and all, means I can now move from glory to glory. My identity is in Christ. The old is gone. I am a new creation. I am loved. I don't have to earn that love. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what Jesus did on the cross. I am free. Thank you Jesus. 

Hair beautiful hair

I have decided to keep my hair natural, it's not a hair stance but for practical reasons. When I was young an inexperienced hair dresser decided to wash my hair before applying a relaxer. To say my head was on fire would be a grave understatement, I was in excruciating pain. I cannot stress enough the importance of educating stylists!!! I never went back to that lady and for years I have not even thought of that incident. It came to mind when I started getting a terribly itchy scalp about 3 years back. When I checked with a dermatologist he didn't see anything but was quick to point a defect on my face that he can fix (which I kindly declined, I mean really stay focused doctor). I decided to cut all my hair off and start afresh. 

I have been enjoying my natural hair and the different styles I have been playing with. I once decided to comb my Afro out but then decided to add shine using a water-based moisturiser and got painfully reminded about shrinkage! I will straighten my hair with a hot iron and for two days it will be manageable but day 3 I don't even recognise it. It's been fun with a bit of panic on some mornings! In the office I am surrounded by various nationalities and the comments I've had on my natural hair range from "Is this your hair?"; "how do you make it look like that?"; "can I touch it?"; "why does your hair stand like that?"; "your hair looks like cotton candy" or "your hair looks like bath foam". And the question I will be asking God one day "why doesn't your hair grow?" Yes I have heard it all...

     

I recently decided to do a weave, because I didn't want to straighten my hair I got the one that covers all your hair. The response has been equally enlightening... Some people flat out told me to stick to the other styles "this everyone has hair like this the other one is more different".  A lady asked whether I finally have my natural hair and other comments include "this doesn't look like you". I have also had some weird compliments  "you look Indian" and "you don't look African" (I think it was meant to be a compliment). I have also gotten a lot of advise on how to manage my weave, "go to a hairdresser and ask them to cut the ends it will make it look more natural" or "you should style it this way ma'am". I must say I didn't realise that people felt that they had authority over my hairstyles. 

Image provided by Ivor Van Graan (IVG photography.com)

I could get mad but I choose to laugh and be grateful that my hair is able to be a conversation starter. Plus, I have the privilege to educate people about black hair along the way.

King David and the Lord's temple

I know that Solomon built the most extravagant and beautiful temple for the Lord however I did not realise the amount of preparation that King David did to make sure that he lays the groundwork for the temple.

• David had the desire to build the temple for the Lord, however before he pursued the desires of his heart he checked whether this is aligned to God's will. God responded saying his son Solomon will build the temple (1 Chronicles 17:1-15). For me, this highlighted the importance of praying about your desires, even desires that are aligned to the will of God. 
• David was not fit to build the temple because he was a mighty warrior that had shed too much blood. God wanted his temple to be built by Solomon as his legacy would be one of peace and quiet. God wanted his heart to be revealed, he is a God of peace and rest (1 Chronicles 22: 8-9). 
• David understood Solomon's inexperience and prepared the resources needed to build the temple (1 Chronicles 22:2-5; 1 Chronicles 28: 2). David's preparation was so well in advance that he gave Solomon the plan for the temple (1 Chronicles 28: 11-19). If you have children, how are you preparing your children for the destiny that God has in-store for them?
• David spoke God's vision over Solomon in private and in public. He spoke God's vision to leaders so that that they may support his son when he is no-longer there. Whenever David mentioned the temple of the Lord to his son and the leaders, he informed them about God's will to have the temple built by Solomon. (1 Chronicles 22: 7-10; 1 Chronicles 22: 17-19; 1 Chronicles 28: 1-4; 1). Do you speak the promises of God over your children? Do they know the destiny God has in store for them? 
• David spoke words of encouragement over his son. He asked Solomon serve the Lord God with all his heart and with all his might. He asked him to obey the statutes that were given to Moses by God.  He told him not to be fearful or discouraged but to be strong and courageous. David also asked God to provide Solomon with discretion and understanding. (1 Chronicles 22: 11-13; 1 Chronicles 28:9-10). 

Image from Google images

Then David said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous and do it. 

Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the  Lord  God, even my God, is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the house of the  Lord  is finished."

 (1 Chronicles 28:20)

God's faithfulness

I feel honoured to have been a small part of this story. Natasha shared her story with me as she was going through a tough time last year. And then when her breakthrough came, she wanted me to share her testimony with people who might need encouragement. I asked to share it on my blog and here it is.  I hope that as you read this you don't miss God's faithfulness. I pray that you may know that if God can do that for her surely he can do ________ (fill blank) for me . I hope that you see God's love and his goodness in this testimony.  

Natasha's testimony: 

So last year my husband had a brain tumour and he was operated on 01 August 2013. We were told it was not to be a successful operation but they had no choice but to operate. They were even speaking to me about life as a widow. To make matters worse, my company had major retrenchments. My whole team was affected and we all had to re-apply for alternate roles. So my husband was in hospital and I had to drive up and down from work and the hospital. They did not give me time off. They also made it seem like I was not to get a role because I asked to work flexi time and I was seen as someone who was not committed. All of a sudden- my line manager decided to give me a really hard time and tell me that I was not good enough to be there.

I was at work from 6am till 2pm. I would go to hospital which was an hour drive away. Then I would visit my husband from 3pm- 330pm. And then I would sit in the waiting area and dial in and work till 7pm. I would then go into ICU from 7-8pm and then drive home and get into the house by 9/93pm. All not knowing how his recovery was going to be. I also didn’t know if I was safe with my job. And we needed my job because if my husband was disabled- I needed to work to care for his bills. The stress was unbelievable. And I also ended up getting migraines that would leave me not having any movement on the left side of my body. The devil is very able to tramp you and blind you. There were many moments when I got so angry at my situation that I even stopped believing in God. My biggest mistake. Needless to say- I was in my lowest pit. And I cried out to God- even though I was unbelieving. 

My husband is now back at work full time despite having brain surgery. I have stopped the hectic meds for the migraine and have been migraine free for the past 3 months. I ended up getting an alternate role at my company but then another company approached me and provided me with a massive increase. Now when I pray- I am seeing God make the changes immediately. I had to learn how to pray within God’s will and not my own.

The biggest lesson I had to learn was that this hardship was in God’s will, he needed me to go through this and to come out in awe of all the miracles he has done. I needed to understand his love. That despite me having no certainty- he knew my future and He has always been faithful and provided. I needed to believe the verses where he would take care of his children. Not just read and not understand the depth and breadth of God’s love.

God bless

Bouncing back

I take time to bounce back. This is what I'm learning about myself. Those statements about "If you don't try you've already failed" never used to bother me because trying meant that there was a possibility of failure. And because it takes time to recover from failure, not trying meant I never had to find out. That's what fear does, it robs you and robs those around you. Your talents and gifts are buried as you learn enough and do enough to prevent failure. Fear meant that I halfheartedly gave of myself in relationships, I was always leaving lots of room for disappointment. I hardly shared myself with those I loved. 

Some of the things I've learned.

1. I had a false identity

I did not know who I was and why I was created. I imitated or showed parts of me that I felt were likable. I hid myself a lot. I avoided conflict and I ran from situations where I felt I could not express my true feelings. I was a coward, choosing to run instead of facing difficult situations I should have tackled directly. I preferred large group of friends because I could be hidden in the crowd and not have to show who I really was.  It was all linked to an incorrect perspective of who I am. By God's grace even the decisions made from a place of fear have been redeemed. I now know who I am and what purpose I was created for. I am a child of God (Gal 3:26). I am made in the image of God (Gen 26:1). The creator of the universe calls me by name (Isai 43:1). I am co-heir with Christ (Roms 8:17). I was created to love the God with all my heart, my mind and my soul. This love I give to God is an outpouring of a heart grateful for the love poured unto me by Him. I am made to love others.  Because I am loved unconditionally. God's love compels me to love others.  

2. Believing lies

I chose to believe that lies that I was not capable instead of soberly evaluating what I am good at and doing more of that. God cares. Yes, even the mundane things matter to him. Even little things like my eating and drinking point to his provision for me (1 Corinthians 10:31).  There will be times of failure but even those moments are part of God's divine plan. My seeking God during my disappointment and heart-ache is part of the plan. It's not something I do when I am travelling to the ultimate goal. It's such a comfort knowing that God is with me. He promised never to forsake and leave me so he is right there by my side celebrating the victories and asking me to look at him during the difficult times.

3. Short-sighted view of life

Did you know that this life is short. Some people are blessed with just over a 100 years of life but most people die before that time. The failure experienced in this short time will not matter as time goes by.  The problems that weighed heavily in my heart at 22 I cannot even remember now at 30. We can be headed in on direction and then change our minds. We have the freedom to chose. Looking back at my life journey, I have realised that God always seems to use the ruins of my story to create His beautiful story. The best part is that my failures today will be minute in comparison to endless joy of being in the very presence of Jesus.

I would love to say I am healed completely of my misconceptions. It's a process. The default setting of fear creeps in at times. I have to actively replace the lies with truth. I am taking ownership of my thoughts, actively raging a war against the thoughts that hold me captive and replacing them with truth. I know that I am created for a purpose. Jesus came so that I am have life and have it in abundance. I am learning to voice my opinions even the unpopular ones. And I always remember that God asks me to be faithful. Everyday I pursue to show the love of God to those around me. I give myself to those I love. My prayer is to endure this marathon called life so that I may hear the beautiful words of Christ - "well done you good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21).

You make me brave by Amanda Cook and Bethel Music. 

Love the passion and words...

Easter time

I love Easter. It's always been my favourite time of the year because it's a time to reflect on God's relentless love. With an added bonus of a long weekend (well back home) and spending time with loved ones. 

I become amazed once again about what Jesus actually did on the cross. How the sins of man and the schemes of the Satan were defeated in what looked to human eyes like a dire situation. It's a moment when an innocent man suffered to the point where he was unrecognisable to reconcile us to God. It's a time to when darkness thought it had won as the King of kings was nailed to the cross. It's a moment filled with sadness as my Saviour is betrayed, tried and found to be innocent yet still crucified. It's a moment of heart-break as my Lord is whipped, given a crown of thorns, mocked, ridiculed and made to carry a heavy cross. It's a moment of sadness as he is nailed to that cross. And to make sure he was really dead, his accusers pierced his side so that water and blood poured out. 

It's a time where I thank Jesus for his humility, how being the very nature of God, he did not take this equality as something to be grasped (Philippians 2:6) and came to die for all people. It's a time to glorify Jesus because even in his own suffering he still thought of others, asking Father God to forgive his accusers. It's a time to praise God for devising a plan for the salvation of all mankind that that could not have been conceived by human thinking. The story does not end there! It culminates with a celebration! As we celebrate that Jesus is alive! Jesus is alive! The tomb is empty! Jesus is alive. Jesus rises, defeating Satan, sin and death. Jesus removes the sting of death as he gives eternal life to all who believe. 

I pray that as we get closer to Easter time, you can take time off the Easter eggs & bunnies, and remember the true meaning of this season. A King who left the riches of heaven, became poor, lived as a human but without sin. A King who died so that you and I may be reconciled to a loving God. A God who loves us so much that whilst we were still sinners he pursued us. Jesus realised that he was limited in his body so he ascended to heaven and left us with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives in all who believe. Rejoice Christian as you remember that the same power that conquered the grave lives in you!

We serve a mighty God! Have a blessed Easter! 

Images from Google images

Parable of the three trees

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.  They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest.  I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems.  I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship.  I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world.  Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees.   When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree,  I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong  tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard."  The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship. When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down."

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a  feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay.  This was not at all what he had prayed for.The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree.

The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but  this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep.   While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe.  The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said  "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it.When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you.  If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

We don't always know what God's plans are for us.  We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

   

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