God's faithfulness

I feel honoured to have been a small part of this story. Natasha shared her story with me as she was going through a tough time last year. And then when her breakthrough came, she wanted me to share her testimony with people who might need encouragement. I asked to share it on my blog and here it is.  I hope that as you read this you don't miss God's faithfulness. I pray that you may know that if God can do that for her surely he can do ________ (fill blank) for me . I hope that you see God's love and his goodness in this testimony.  

Natasha's testimony: 

So last year my husband had a brain tumour and he was operated on 01 August 2013. We were told it was not to be a successful operation but they had no choice but to operate. They were even speaking to me about life as a widow. To make matters worse, my company had major retrenchments. My whole team was affected and we all had to re-apply for alternate roles. So my husband was in hospital and I had to drive up and down from work and the hospital. They did not give me time off. They also made it seem like I was not to get a role because I asked to work flexi time and I was seen as someone who was not committed. All of a sudden- my line manager decided to give me a really hard time and tell me that I was not good enough to be there.

I was at work from 6am till 2pm. I would go to hospital which was an hour drive away. Then I would visit my husband from 3pm- 330pm. And then I would sit in the waiting area and dial in and work till 7pm. I would then go into ICU from 7-8pm and then drive home and get into the house by 9/93pm. All not knowing how his recovery was going to be. I also didn’t know if I was safe with my job. And we needed my job because if my husband was disabled- I needed to work to care for his bills. The stress was unbelievable. And I also ended up getting migraines that would leave me not having any movement on the left side of my body. The devil is very able to tramp you and blind you. There were many moments when I got so angry at my situation that I even stopped believing in God. My biggest mistake. Needless to say- I was in my lowest pit. And I cried out to God- even though I was unbelieving. 

My husband is now back at work full time despite having brain surgery. I have stopped the hectic meds for the migraine and have been migraine free for the past 3 months. I ended up getting an alternate role at my company but then another company approached me and provided me with a massive increase. Now when I pray- I am seeing God make the changes immediately. I had to learn how to pray within God’s will and not my own.

The biggest lesson I had to learn was that this hardship was in God’s will, he needed me to go through this and to come out in awe of all the miracles he has done. I needed to understand his love. That despite me having no certainty- he knew my future and He has always been faithful and provided. I needed to believe the verses where he would take care of his children. Not just read and not understand the depth and breadth of God’s love.

God bless

Bouncing back

I take time to bounce back. This is what I'm learning about myself. Those statements about "If you don't try you've already failed" never used to bother me because trying meant that there was a possibility of failure. And because it takes time to recover from failure, not trying meant I never had to find out. That's what fear does, it robs you and robs those around you. Your talents and gifts are buried as you learn enough and do enough to prevent failure. Fear meant that I halfheartedly gave of myself in relationships, I was always leaving lots of room for disappointment. I hardly shared myself with those I loved. 

Some of the things I've learned.

1. I had a false identity

I did not know who I was and why I was created. I imitated or showed parts of me that I felt were likable. I hid myself a lot. I avoided conflict and I ran from situations where I felt I could not express my true feelings. I was a coward, choosing to run instead of facing difficult situations I should have tackled directly. I preferred large group of friends because I could be hidden in the crowd and not have to show who I really was.  It was all linked to an incorrect perspective of who I am. By God's grace even the decisions made from a place of fear have been redeemed. I now know who I am and what purpose I was created for. I am a child of God (Gal 3:26). I am made in the image of God (Gen 26:1). The creator of the universe calls me by name (Isai 43:1). I am co-heir with Christ (Roms 8:17). I was created to love the God with all my heart, my mind and my soul. This love I give to God is an outpouring of a heart grateful for the love poured unto me by Him. I am made to love others.  Because I am loved unconditionally. God's love compels me to love others.  

2. Believing lies

I chose to believe that lies that I was not capable instead of soberly evaluating what I am good at and doing more of that. God cares. Yes, even the mundane things matter to him. Even little things like my eating and drinking point to his provision for me (1 Corinthians 10:31).  There will be times of failure but even those moments are part of God's divine plan. My seeking God during my disappointment and heart-ache is part of the plan. It's not something I do when I am travelling to the ultimate goal. It's such a comfort knowing that God is with me. He promised never to forsake and leave me so he is right there by my side celebrating the victories and asking me to look at him during the difficult times.

3. Short-sighted view of life

Did you know that this life is short. Some people are blessed with just over a 100 years of life but most people die before that time. The failure experienced in this short time will not matter as time goes by.  The problems that weighed heavily in my heart at 22 I cannot even remember now at 30. We can be headed in on direction and then change our minds. We have the freedom to chose. Looking back at my life journey, I have realised that God always seems to use the ruins of my story to create His beautiful story. The best part is that my failures today will be minute in comparison to endless joy of being in the very presence of Jesus.

I would love to say I am healed completely of my misconceptions. It's a process. The default setting of fear creeps in at times. I have to actively replace the lies with truth. I am taking ownership of my thoughts, actively raging a war against the thoughts that hold me captive and replacing them with truth. I know that I am created for a purpose. Jesus came so that I am have life and have it in abundance. I am learning to voice my opinions even the unpopular ones. And I always remember that God asks me to be faithful. Everyday I pursue to show the love of God to those around me. I give myself to those I love. My prayer is to endure this marathon called life so that I may hear the beautiful words of Christ - "well done you good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21).

You make me brave by Amanda Cook and Bethel Music. 

Love the passion and words...

Easter time

I love Easter. It's always been my favourite time of the year because it's a time to reflect on God's relentless love. With an added bonus of a long weekend (well back home) and spending time with loved ones. 

I become amazed once again about what Jesus actually did on the cross. How the sins of man and the schemes of the Satan were defeated in what looked to human eyes like a dire situation. It's a moment when an innocent man suffered to the point where he was unrecognisable to reconcile us to God. It's a time to when darkness thought it had won as the King of kings was nailed to the cross. It's a moment filled with sadness as my Saviour is betrayed, tried and found to be innocent yet still crucified. It's a moment of heart-break as my Lord is whipped, given a crown of thorns, mocked, ridiculed and made to carry a heavy cross. It's a moment of sadness as he is nailed to that cross. And to make sure he was really dead, his accusers pierced his side so that water and blood poured out. 

It's a time where I thank Jesus for his humility, how being the very nature of God, he did not take this equality as something to be grasped (Philippians 2:6) and came to die for all people. It's a time to glorify Jesus because even in his own suffering he still thought of others, asking Father God to forgive his accusers. It's a time to praise God for devising a plan for the salvation of all mankind that that could not have been conceived by human thinking. The story does not end there! It culminates with a celebration! As we celebrate that Jesus is alive! Jesus is alive! The tomb is empty! Jesus is alive. Jesus rises, defeating Satan, sin and death. Jesus removes the sting of death as he gives eternal life to all who believe. 

I pray that as we get closer to Easter time, you can take time off the Easter eggs & bunnies, and remember the true meaning of this season. A King who left the riches of heaven, became poor, lived as a human but without sin. A King who died so that you and I may be reconciled to a loving God. A God who loves us so much that whilst we were still sinners he pursued us. Jesus realised that he was limited in his body so he ascended to heaven and left us with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives in all who believe. Rejoice Christian as you remember that the same power that conquered the grave lives in you!

We serve a mighty God! Have a blessed Easter! 

Images from Google images

Parable of the three trees

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.  They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest.  I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems.  I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship.  I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world.  Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees.   When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree,  I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong  tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard."  The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship. When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down."

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a  feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay.  This was not at all what he had prayed for.The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree.

The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but  this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep.   While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe.  The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said  "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it.When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you.  If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

We don't always know what God's plans are for us.  We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

   

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Thank you Jesus

Today I woke up with a heart overflowing with gratitude.

Thank you Jesus for my family. Thank you for opening my eyes to how they shower me with love. What is more astonishing is that they are but a shadow of the love you pour out to me everyday. Thank you Lord Jesus for revealing yourself to me. I am blessed to serve the one true God, the creator of heaven and earth. Thank you for renewing my mind. Thank you for giving me a new heart. Thank you for for replacing my heart of stone with a heart of flesh. Thank you for surrounding me with God-fearing friends. Thank you for Tuesday prayer meeting and how much they have grown. Thank you for my friends who continue to show me love inspite of the distance. Thank you for 5 years of bliss with my God-fearing boyfriend. 

Thank you for my job. Thank you for my managers. Thank you for giving me opportunities in a field that I enjoy. Thank you for a salary that meets all my needs and gives me a little extra for "wants". 

Thank you for the time you have given me to soak in your word. Holy Spirit help me to live out the life-giving words in the Holy Bible. Thank you for giving me that conviction that all scripture is God breathed. Thank you for reminding me that all good things come from God the Father. Help me to never lose sight of the love shown on the cross where Jesus died. Thank you for your love Lord Jesus. I am most grateful for you in my life.

Praise be to you Father God.

Weakness

I read an article which really spoke to me by John Piper on not wasting your weakness. You can get it here and it's worth reading. He speaks about recognising and exploiting our weakness. And he shows an example of what he did with a weakness that he identified.

I will never leave you nor forsake you

I love listening to this song - it's so comforting to know that although I may feel God is far he is always with me. Right by my side.

Come to me - Bethel Music