Mamkhulu vibes...

On the 26 July 2013 my nephew was born. By him being born I was given a new role - Aunty. I like the word Aunty in my mother tongue "Mamkhulu", directly translated it means older mom. It got me thinking about what advice I would give my nephew as his older mom. What advice should I give him as he grows older and embraces the future ahead of him.

Dear Zigi,

1. Build your identity in Jesus Christ

• You are created in the image of God Genesis 1:26
• You are wonderfully and fearfully made Psalm139:14.
• God knit you in your mother's womb Psalm139:13. 
• He loves you. He cares for you. He is your provider Psalm 23:1. 
• You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength (Mark 12:30). Jesus is worthy of all your affection.
• If you delight in him and dwell in him he will grant you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)!
• Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Do not step away from your parent's teaching on the importance of Christ.

2. Every good and perfect gift is from God

• God is Good. He is kind to evil and good people alike Matthew 5:45. 
• James 1:17 puts it like this every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

3. Money

• Money is a gift from God. It's a means for you to live Ecclesiastes 5:19. It is not a tool to entice women. Many men have fallen whilst trying to attract women with money and other material things. I've heard of men who call a car a panty-dropper or who wish they could drive their cars into a party/club because it attracts girls better than they ever could. You are not this guy. You should not treat women like objects. 
• Do not use money to gain power or to take advantage of others Deuteronomy 24:14. I've seen grown men grovel at the feet of a man with more money than they do. If you are fortunate enough to be the rich man do not use your money to feel superior to other men. If you are in the company of a rich man know who you are in Christ. You bow to Jesus Christ.
• God gives us much but asks for a meager 10% of our income in the form of tithing. This money is for your local church so that it can sustain itself, proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ and give generously to others. Tithe to acknowledge that the reason you have an income is because God has provided you with a means of making money. It's his money and you are showing gratitude that he would make you a custodian of it. This is the only time in the bible that God asks us to test him (Malachi 3:10). Test him. I've seen that he is able to provide and exceed expectations.
• Work hard for your money. Greed makes many men gain money in illegal activities through cheating, drug smuggling, human trafficking, bribery, lying and stealing. Many of these men land up in jail. Do not be one of them. Rather, eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours (Psalm 128:2). The bible warns that people who gather money through sin are gathering it for those who are loved by God (Proverbs 13:22; Ecclesiastes 2:26). 
• As you become a man you need to be able to provide for your family Proverbs 15:27. Where a man spends his money it's where his heart lies Luke 12:34. Don't just say you love your family, show that you care by how you spend your money. 
• Do not finish all your money in this lifetime, it is wise to leave an inheritance for your children one day Proverbs 13:2.
• God has blessed you to be a blessing onto others. Give generously to those who are less fortunate than you are 2 Corinthians 9:7. If you cannot give money, give of your time. My dad always says that money is like manure, if you keep it together in a pile it starts to stink but if you spread it on the grass it starts to do beautiful things. Give generously and watch as people's lives are changed by your generosity. 

4. Women

• Pray to the Lord for a wife of noble character. Scripture admits that it's difficult to find a woman of noble character. She is worth far more than rubies Proverbs 31:10.
• Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain Proverbs 31:30. Look for a woman who fears the Lord. I recently went to Monaco. I saw women who have based their entire worth on their bodies and looks. These women were much older than me and still wearing outfits that barely covered their bodies. I saw moms dressed the same as their teenage daughters. I saw men who paraded these women like trophies and I was sad for them. Sad because I saw a grandma who never outgrew it. She still saw herself as that beautiful young woman. Her face was talking of the many plastic surgeries as she tried to pull every facial wrinkle she could until she couldn't pull anymore. My brother described her make-up as "She looks like she robbed a clown". She was trying to cover up her wrinkles. I felt sorry for her because she was still holding on to her youthful beauty which vanishes with time. Be attracted to a woman by her looks but cement a relationship by something more than her looks. 
• She must have a good work ethic. The wife described in Proverbs 31 is hardworking, provides for her family and is resourceful. Do not look for a women who is happy to spend your money and not contribute to the family's well-being. Family well-being differs from family to family - find out what works for you and your family and do that well. If you and your wife decide that she is going to be a housewife - do it. If you both decide to work for a living go for it. But whatever you decide ensure that the well-being of the family comes first. 
• She must have your interest at heart. She must encourage and be inspired by your dreams. I love this verse Proverbs 31:11 when it says "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value". To have such a woman in your life! What a blessing from God. 

5. Family

• When you become married, you become one flesh with your wife. This relationship is more precious than any other relationship you will ever have on earth. God comes first. Your wife comes second. Yes you heard right, your wife not your mom. The best thing a man can ever do for his children is to love their mom. Your relationship with your wife is something your children will one day mirror in their own lives. Your son would want to love his wife like you love his mom and your daughter will look for a husband who treats her like you treat her mom. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in doing it well. You want to leave a good legacy.

I'm sure that as time goes by you will face all kinds of trials and triumphs. In all of it, if there is one thing you can take out from this is put all your trust in God. He will guide your ways. And when God is your guide, you shall not be in want.

I love you too much,

Mamkhulu Nolitha
(images courtesy of google images)